Well, it's over, no more making a living by playing music in restaurants and bars. After 30+ years of doing just that, I've learned over the past two years that it's just not the way in today's world. So, what does a guy who only knows the music world do? He cannot just go and work in a coffee shop or a department store. Some folks can function in society, others cannot, I'm one of those who cannot - never have. Everything is based on the almighty dollar. Because the Powers That Be have destroyed not only the music business, but the world in general, I've spent the past three years living in unbelievably horrid situations - mostly with people who pretended to want to help, but in reality, only wanted something for themselves. From the self righteous, sexually frustrated hippie woman (hell hath no fury...), and her bullying, "Everything I ever did in my life has been fantastic" land renter (who lives in his delapidated RV in her back yard), to the psychotic barfly who, after two weeks, when she realized I wasn't interested in being her boytoy (another "Hell hath no fury situation), tossed me out in the middle of the night (with the help of local police who she blatantly lied to), to living on the banks of the Santa Cruz River in Tucson, to my friend's crazy, self serving, bullying wife, to the "fellow musician" "friend" who wanted to keep me under his control by having me in his basement.
To add insult to injury, I had the almighty dollar for a while, but gave it all up for what I thought was going to be a good life, true love, and all the other happy horse shit. I miss that Florida house - which was just about to be paid for, my nice Blazer, my studio room and all my beautiful instruments, financial freedom, and all that goes along with having that ever elusive dollar in my back pocket. Some people are fortunate, others aren't; and yes, there IS such a thing as luck - I have a lifetime of proof that the universe protects thieves, lowlifes, parasites, and other bottom feeders of the world - at the expense of good people. I'd have a comfortable life right now, and I'd be of real help to my sister, and any other friends or family members who have been less than fortunate.
If this sounds like bitterness, then yes, you recognize the obvious. And yes, I've been cheated out of everything I ever worked for in my entire life, and yes again, I'm goddam tired. I'll just leave it there for now.
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