I guess it’s too much to ask to have a girl who is non antagonistic, non defensive, not easily angered, and/or easy going. I’ve heard all the talk about how a person attracts certain things in other people – but I don’t buy it. I’m not a mean spirited person, I’m not antagonistic, and I’m not aggressive - unless somebody really pushes me. I don’t fly into a rage for every little thing that I don’t like. For me to be offended, somebody has to do something rude, intrusive, bullying, dishonest, grossly inconsiderate, or hostile – and usually they have to do it more than once. I’ve always just wanted peace in my little life, but it seems there is no such thing – everywhere I look, everywhere I go, somebody feels the need to snipe at me, huff at me, be provoke me – and damn if I’m not sick and goddam tired of it. It’s not bad enough that I get it when I get out in public, but getting it from the person who supposedly cares about me and all that, inside the place where I live, it’s about too much to deal with anymore. Every girl I’ve ever been with – except one – has been mean spirited, abusive, ill tempered, antagonistic, or easily angered – or any combination thereof. Is there even such a thing as a girl who is not so full of aggression, not so easily angered? I'm beginning to think not - that, or the universe has done a damn good job of keeping such a girl away from me - wouldn't be the first time the universe did such a chidlish idiotic thing to be amused at my expense.
There’s really no more to it than that, except that it’s miserable to be on the receiving end of this B.S. It’s even worse, the fact that I don’t have the means to get the hell out and have my own life, and/or to find a decent girl – thanks, Powers That Be, and thanks, all you thieves, liars, and manipulative asses I’ve crossed paths with.
People slamming planes into buildings (not talking about 9/11, talking about the guy in Austin who slammed his private plane into a government building a couple years ago), people shooting up movie theaters, post offices, work places, etc.. While I don’t condone what those people do (hurting innocent people), I certainly understand it. People are getting angrier by the day, and I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon, maybe I should seriously consider that mountaintop. In the meantime, I sit here and put up with people’s daily hostile bullshit.