Dear Universe...

It's likely I will not be here for much longer, and I'm totally ok with that.

I've spent my whole life enjoying good health.  Part of it may be genetics, but I'm pretty sure it's at least as much because I've taken good care of myself.  I eat as well as possible while still living in the real world.  Not much of a fast food guy, always been active - well, up until the past seven years or so.  That part - mostly not my doing.  There are people out there who have this way of manipulating other people into doing what they (the manipulators) want, controlling every aspect of the person's life.  I'll get into that in a minute.  While being in the music business, where most people at all levels indulge in drugs, alcohol, and other abuses, me, never done any of it, never a drug in my life, never been a drinker.  On the moral side of things, I've always been honest and straight up, I don't believe in BS'ing anybody, bullying, cheating, or manipulating of any kind.  I've never tried to take any person down - I don't part take in jealousy, envy, or anything of the kind, in fact, back in the 80s, when I was in the position to do so, I helped a few musicians get in contact with bands, which ended up in a few good combinations, and some lifetime friendships, and I'm happy to have been part of it.

Anyway, back to the health aspect of my rant.  I'm 63, up until three or four years ago, I never had a headache in my life, I always felt energetic.  Over the past seven years or so, I've spent more time sitting around than all the rest of the years of my life combined.  I hate it, but in my current situation, there's just not a whole hell of a lot I can do about it.  I'll spare you the gory details, but let me tell you, sitting around is one of my least favorite things to do.  I will say that the stress level in my life has been significantly more than most people's.  I've felt singled out, I've been (literally) gaslighted, I've been harassed, bullied ever since I was eight years old (mostly by full grown adults), and probably even before that.  In my music career, I did everything right, I was responsible, I took risks, I worked my ass off, I was always honest, and I'm pretty sure I had the stuff it took to at get a shot at the next level.  The fact that I'd been intentionally locked out, by a bunch of ego driven and vindictive people in positions of power in the music business, has taken its toll - on my spirit, my mental and emotional state, and my body.  I'll also acknowledge that I'm one of those people who sees all the unfairness, injustice, and cruelty in the world - and let me tell you, it causes me so much grief.  So, at 63, I'm starting to feel my body in the beginning stages of failure.  My blood pressure is through the roof, and I'm pretty sure that's also beginning to take its toll.  I get headaches regularly.  My eyes have been affected - in the way of large "floaters", streaks of light, and blurry spots that run across my vision like windshield wipers.  My stomach is also starting to feel the effects.  I'm gassy, my food feels like it's sitting in there for hours and hours.  These things are likely signs that the pancreas is failing.  I wouldn't be surprised if I have either pre diabetes, or full blown diabetes.  On that, there is not a legitimate reason in the world that somebody like me, with my eating habits, should be having such health conditions.  Yes, sitting around way too much the past few years, but even with that...      I've talked about this stuff before - what Big Pharma is doing, what the food producers are doing - dumping all that sugar, salt, chemicals, and other crap, into our food.  Then there's the genetically modified food - food that I'm pretty sure our bodies are having a hard time recognizing.  There's flouride, a known neurotoxin, in our water.  There's chemtrails - all that aluminum oxide, barium, strontium, and other neurotoxins, being spraying into the atmosphere, which, besides the obvious, is also making its way into the soil, and in turn into crops, which in turn are eating by animals - that we eat, and by us humans.  The stuff is also getting into our water supply, and into the ocean.  The threshold - where our bodies can no longer keep up with all the toxic crap that we ingest - has been crossed.  This is why most people, by the time they are 30 years old, are with multiple health conditions, diseases, even mental conditions and diseases.  They are being fed "medications" by the truckload - first when they wake up in the morning, then before they get to bed at night.  When I was a kid - back in the 60s, there were doctor's offices scattered sparsely throughout a city or town, and if you came down with something you didn't know how to deal with, you could make a phone call, and get in to see the doctor that same day - usually within a couple of hours.  Today, with the massive medical centers, clinics, and other medical related space, it takes anywhere from a month, to two months, and even longer in many cases.  This cannot be the natural order of things.

All this being said, I can see that it's causing my own body to fail.  I will always eat well, and always try to take as good of care of me as humanly possible, but realizing that there is nothing realistic to be done about all the poison - in food, water, air, and land, I won't try to fight that, other than to speak out about it on Social Media.  With my blood pressure being what it is, and knowing that it could kill me at any moment, if it does, I won't be sad about it, in fact, I often wish it to do just that.  I've lived my life, and I sure as hell will not miss this place when it's my time to head out.  I've never felt welcome in this life - with any family member, with any "friend", or any romantic partner.  I'm not sad about that, either, I realize that people are what they are - with me always having felt that I ended up here by some cosmic accident. I never asked to come here, but I've done the best I could to survive, to do good, and to not hurt other people - ever how much they may have deserved it.  As for romantic relationships, significant others, all the girls/women I attract have been angry, disrespectful, jealous, controlling, and vindictive.  Yes, I've bailed out of all of them - except for the one I'm in now - hard as I've tried to get out, I've always been forced to end up back here.  This is a whole 'nother subject that I've spoken about on social media - the fact that the oppression and financial manipulation causes problems other than the obvious.  Way too many people who are in abusive relationships and situations have no escape, trapped with a person who is abusive and controlling, and nothing to be done about it.  So, I applied for health care, which will take effect Jan. 1, 2018 - three months after I noticed the symptoms - the eyes, the stomach, etc.  I will ask for some kind of input on diet, and the possibility of natural remedies (which I know medical professionals HATE).  I will not cave in to Big Pharma and their bullshit, again, I will gladly drop dead before I let them have their way with me.  I fully expect a barrage of cheap insults from the doctor, but well, still not going to allow them to feed me their ridiculous drugs.

I will try to make this post conspicuous, should I be able to do that when I think my life is close to its end.  Don't know how I'm going to do it just yet, but hopefully I'll figure it out.  For me, life is important, it's important what a person does while he or she is here, but quality of life is more important.  Saying again, I will not allow myself to live in Big Pharma's prison.

One thing I will do as soon as I get done writing this, is, I will post a link on Twitter.  Funny stuff, though, I am fully aware that none of the people who see my tweets, my "Followers", or any person who sees my stuff through hashtags, none of these people actually view my videos, click and read links, in fact, most barely even get through the tweet itself.  It was the same when I was on Facebook - and some of those people were people who knew me - high school classmates, musicians that I'd met over time, and some who I'd met who were other than musical.  Totally ignored, which is why I finally got the hell out of Facebook

Ok, so if I end up in the ground soon, know that I welcome my time to get out of this horrible place, know that I'm not sad about the ending of my own life.  Know that I detest most humans, and that I wish them good riddance when I'm gone.  Oh, and not to worry, it's never been a thought in my mind that I would take any person with me - not my place to decide who lives, or who does whatever else - totally up to them' and I guess it's just not in my DNA to think about hurting other living beings.  I love animals, they have always been nice to me, treated me with respect, never tried to take me down, hurt me, or cause me grief, and they don't hurt the planet - for reasons of greed, or any other reason for that matter.  I feel the worst for Callie, my beautiful cat, who loves me, and who I love more than I ever loved any human.  She will miss me, no human will, and I'm ok with that, but Callie will miss me.

All for now.

The Anihilation Of The Human Race?

It's becoming common knowledge that the Powers That Be (Huge Corporation ownership and upper management, and government officials) are poisoning our food, water, air, and land.  They are destroying forests, polluting oceans - with radiation, plastics and other wastes.  They are polluting the land - also with toxic wastes, and with the chemicals that are inundating the soil via chemtrails (aluminum oxide, barium, strontium, and other toxic crap, and has been admitted by the Powers That Be, as in "We're doing it to slow global warming, so it's for your own good").  There is flouride (a known neurotoxin) in our water supply, they are screwing with nature down at the molecular and genetic level, they are putting massive amounts of chemicals in our food.  They are destroying our forests - by cutting them down, and by burning them down.  The bird population has been noticeable decimated over just the past two or three years - likely because all the toxins that are being put into the soil and water are killing worms, bugs, etc. so there is not enough for the birds to eat.  I've noticed that the evergreens are turning brown.  Most humans are sick in 2018, as opposed to in 1970, when very few people had organ dysfunction, high blood pressure, and countless other health conditions.  When I was a kid, there were no massive medical centers like there are now, there were doctor's offices scattered throughout a city or town, and you could, without fail, make a phone call, and get in that same day.  These huge medical centers of today, they are booked 2,3 4 months out, and are full, all day, every day.  Mental illness an conditions are in epidemic proportions.  Sea life is washing up on our shores - with "experts" denying that they know why.  And this is only stuff off the top of my head, I'm sure there is a hell of a lot more going on.

I believe there is an ultimate goal for all of this.  There are the sociopaths and psychopaths who own and are in upper management of large corporations, and in high government positions.  My theory is that these people think that they can play "god" - not talking about the big guy sitting up there in the sky on a golden throne, but whoever or whatever wrote the blueprint for this universe, this life.  At particular points in life's evolution, new life forms appear - first one celled ogranisms, then multi-celled organisms, then insects, fish, small animals, large animals, early human type beings, and now, full fledged human beings.  I believe that these crazy people - the ones way up at the top of the food chain - the ones who pretend not to exist, while they screw us all - are up to something.  To them, we are nothing more than cattle - expendable for their despicable mission.  That something is that if/when they annihilate the human race down to a certain level - maybe near extinction, that the next, more "advanced" life form will appear.  These people have been screwing with nature for decades - by way of genetic modification (of plants, animals, AND humans), by molecular modification (in plants, animals, AND possibly humans) in their delusional minds, would incite the next form of life to emerge.  It's not gonna happen, guys, because the timeline is written - down there at the sub atomic level - as to when the next life form's time to appear arrives.  They will not stop, they will continue to destroy life as we know it.  I do, though, believe that the planet will step in, as it has already begun to, and stop humans before they destroy the planet.  They may, though, succeed in annihilating most life forms that inhabit our planet at this point, but all that will happen is that the planet will be void of most life forms (plant AND animal, animate AND inanimate), making it more difficult for the next life for to sustain its life.  The ecosystems are what they are, many have already been destroyed, and as more of them disappear, so will more life forms - the proverbial Catch 22.

So, as we all continue to be slowly murdered, most people sit back and pretend it's not happening, OR, that it's all part of the natural order of things.  They hide behind clever but asinine cliches, they obsess about being liked, and about not being labelled as "Negative".  They want to be like grandma, who "Never said anything bad about anybody or anything in her life, and everybody LOVED her".

I'm pretty sure that inside of the next fifty years, something drastic will happen.  The beginnings are already here - the massive increase in hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, new, mutated diseases, and others.  I believe there is no stopping it.  "It is what it is", as they say.  Whoever wrote the song, "Bad Moon Rising", was no dummy, every word in there is coming true.