Friday, December 13, 2013

I’m Sure My Instruments Miss Me

I haven’t played a guitar, banjo, or any of my instruments for that matter, in about a month.  One of the things I looked forward to in getting into an apartment, after being in the RV for a year, was to have my own room where I could play, uninterrupted, with no hostility from anybody, with no dirty looks or snide remarks.  Well, it seemed to be ok for a couple of months, and while I noticed some amount of thinly disguised resentment, I played through it for the short amount of time. So, the resentment for me playing my music continues to incite resentment from many.  When I was 13, first learning, the angry, begrudging step mom would make snide comments about me playing – even though I always waited until there was nobody in the house before I would play.  The neighbor girl did the same – every chance she got – same as the step mom.  Through the years, I’ve had more cops and management people called on me than I can count, and just about every significant other (girlfriend or wife) showed resentment to some degree.  Funny, up until just 3 or 4 years ago, I didn’t spend much time playing for my own amusement, I only played when I needed to learn a song or a guitar part – but still – cops called, management called, and even had a loudmouth neighbor come pounding on my door.  I had the obnoxious, green with envy guy come in the house every day for five months – to interrupt me, stop me from playing the best he could, while I would be forced to listen to his endless, self righteous babbling for hours.  Being that this was not my house, with all the circumstances there, I had no choice but to listen to his crap – until I finally laid into him after he bullied me for the thousandth time (not music related this time).  It was very shortly after that where I ended up homeless.  Well, I’m in this situation, where I am very much not in control of my own life – not by any fault of my own, and where my instruments and I are forced to be stifled.  They sit in their cases, probably missing me as much as I miss them.  I find it very sad that so many people have so much anger and resentment.  I’ve seen that so many people resent anybody who plays a musical instrument – this is not exclusive to me.  The resentment here - I think it’s a control thing, a disease of possessiveness, the music is not the only thing that is suffering.  There’s nothing I can do at the moment, so I do what is necessary.  My instruments and I will not be separated forever, unless I must exit this plane of existence, which I would happily do should the need arise.
All for now.

No comments:

Post a Comment